You Chose Wrong

I will admit, I have never read a “Choose Your Own Adventure Novel,” as this ds106 assignment describes. However, I love the idea of writing the end of a story, the gruesome ending, not the happy one. So here we go!

The little imp told you the gold was buried here under this tree. You keep digging but soon realize the chattering birds above are more likely laughing Moorfolk, giggling at your misfortune. You swear and turn around, hoping to snatch up the tiny bearded man before he scampers off, but he’s nowhere in sight. In fact, you no longer see the path he took to lead you here. The moor has gone eerily quiet. You peer into the darkening late afternoon light and catch glimpse of a wavering twinkle, like a lantern. You take a few steps toward it, away from the soft soil beneath the trees. You’ve heard that will-o’-the-wisps can lead you to your fate, but to what fate will this glimmering glow guide you? You take another step toward the faint receding wisp and are immediately sucked down into the depths of the bog.
You chose wrong.
One of my favorite books as a kid was called The Moorchild, about a “changeling” named Saaski. “Changelings” are figments of European folklore said to take the place of children stolen away in the night before they were christened by fairies or pixies or elves. The magical creatures (in this book called moorfolk) would replace the child with an enchanted piece of wood or bundle of sticks, or occasionally one of their own that didn’t fit in or do their work. The whole book was ridden with folktales about getting lost on the moor and the dangers that could befall you there – a bit creepy for a children’s book, but still one of my favorites!

Hope you liked it! I’ve creeped myself out so much now I probably won’t sleep!

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You’re Doing it Wrong

Sarcasm is at the heart of this ds106 assignment, which speaks to me on a cellular level. Maybe I’m stuck up. Maybe I think I’m better than other people. Or maybe I just don’t know how to handle other people’s stupidity. I blame food service. Regardless, I love the idea of this post, and I will probably start saying, “You’re doing it wrong,” on a daily basis.

Essentially, the point is to find a funny picture of something used improperly, spelled incorrectly, or something generally stupid, and use the caption, “You’re doing it wrong.” The example on the site was using a bike lock to secure a car to a pole. What? Really?

I didn’t go quite as caustic with mine. I searched for funny pictures, stupid pictures, dumb pictures, etc. I found quite a few grammar pictures with restaurant signs and the like that I considered using, but when I found the kitten… I had to.

I present, “Kisses: you’re doing it wrong.”

badkisses

Illustrating Odd Autocompletes

The example for this ds106 visual assignment was of a cat priest hissing while preaching, which immediately caught my eye. I first input “I love it when…” into the google search bar, and then typed a few random letters after it. I tried to choose letters that were less frequently used to (hopefully) get more interesting results. V yielded “Voldemort” and when filling in the rest of that word, I was supplied with “I love it when Voldemort uses my shampoo.” How could I not? Since I am inept with photoshop, I chose to use MSpaint and Let It Gogh. I have to admit, I was both surprised and impressed with the end result, although I wish I could have thought of a more clever way to do the shampoo suds.

But really. Quit using my shampoo, Voldy.

voldemort

 

I also made a tutorial that can be found on YouTube or here on the blog.

PSA Billboard

After a particularly infuriating trip to target, I decided to use the DS106 PSA Billboard assignment to vent my frustrations (Why do people think they can just walk around shopping, playing horrible music LOUDLY on their iphones?!). To accomplish this submission, I messed around with Gimp – a free photo-editing software. Although graphic design isn’t my strong point, I’m still pleased with the results. This project was rather therapeutic.

Directions for the DS106 assignment can be found here.

PSA

Historical Selfie

When I saw that DS106 had an Historical Selfie option, I was so excited. I knew I had to use one of my favorite historical figures -Marie Antoinette. To make this project happen, I had to download Gimp (basically, a free and less-user-friendly version of Photoshop). After about an hour of cursing and throwing things at my computer, I finally made a halfway decent post. Note – this project isn’t exactly for the photo-editing novice.

Assignment instructions can be found here.#beheading #goodhairday#beheading #goodhairday #atleastilookhot